Day 3 of 2021 presented its first heart-find of the new year. A white paper string popped into view, pressed to a nubby dark-grey doormat. I’d like to think of this heart as a sign of “welcome” because I had just entered a specialty food store that Jon used to often visit. Suddenly, memories rush to the front of my brain from these now long years ago, emphasized by my leaning over to get a better look at this shape that resembles a hurried, scribbled chalk drawing. I instantly felt dizzy as blood pressure is felt behind my eyes and I hoped no one minded or noticed my standing there teetering a bit while I attempted to steady myself and to take a picture. Once photography was completed and I regained my balance by briefly glancing around the small store, I soon methodically found my items from my short shopping list. Nothing here has changed in its arrangement, it’s all as I remembered it to be. At the register, I glanced to my right and saw them, like they were waiting for me, and before I could stop myself, I hear myself asking for four petite key lime tarts. Why did I order four for just us three? When I am handed a small bakery box, this question in my mind brings a flush of inner-guilt, thinking just maybe, he will be waiting for me at home and I can surprise him, too, with a little tartlet. Welcoming thoughts will have to do, rather than a “welcome home.” ~P. ❤️
