September 6, 2021
24. “Today is our 24th wedding anniversary.” Every year that goes by gets father away from those words of “is” and “our” and closer to other words that make it seem like we were a dream. If it were a dream, then it was a dream of having true love be my life and you were in the center of it: the sun to my solar system. Are you now in the stars that I cannot see with teary eyes? Are you in the waves that tickle my ankles? Are you the emerald moss where I press the palms of my hands to help me stand up after I’ve fallen off of my bike?
If I could write a note to Love, I would say:
Thank you for being my life. I’m trying to find you here and I’m afraid I am lost and not myself without you. Without you, Love, my life will not “be.” It only “was.” I hope you are doing well and please keep in touch.
Jon, you were my reality. Thinking all about you and us on our anniversary day, today. You and Love are intertwined and there is no separating you. Thank you for a beautiful dream. “I miss you” is not enough to say. It feels more like “I cannot be.” I know you will understand. If you were here, one look from you would say so. For now, I love you, I miss you, I wish you were here. ❤️~Puskie